Undies VS Vests
by ELJ Stories
Summary: The battle of Undies and Vests continues on the Aloha Oe. However, the battle takes an unexpected turn. Dandy x Meow. Takes place after the 6th episode of the 1st season. THIS IS A JOKE! DO NOT TAKE THIS STORY SERIOUSLY! Here's the thing that gave me the idea in the first place: spacedandyconfessions./post/77569726697/i-can-actually-see-this-happening


Undies VS Vests by ELJ Stories

**Author's Note: Hey! It's me again. I've been OBSESSED with this show since April. I'm not joking. It's one of the only things I think about during the day. As you can tell from the description, this story came to me through a Tumblr post (so if you end up hating me, at least it's not entirely my fault). Enjoy!**

Things at the Aloha Oe seemed to return to normal. After that little incident involving a civil war between those who wore undergarments and those who wore vests, the last thing most people wanted to think about was, well, undergarments and vests.

The crew was chilling in the lounge. "I'm just glad that all of that nonsense is over," QT said. "I couldn't have said it better myself," Dandy agreed, who of which had the decency to put his clothes back on. However, in his mind, Meow was far from done. In the short amount of time he spent with the vest side, he had grown to accept that vests were way better than undergarments. So what if your crotch was exposed all the time? It's better than showing off those disgusting pecs. Meow kept on staring at the floor. He was so deep in thought that he didn't notice the odd looks that Dandy and QT were giving him. "Hey cat. Are you still alive?" At that moment, Meow snapped back to reality. "Don't call me a cat, you undies-wearing freak!" Meow blurted out. Dandy had a look of confusion on his face. "What the hell are you talking about?" Dandy asked. "Don't play dumb! You guys think you're SO great with your underwear," Meow replied, mocking Dandy in the process. "You're still mad about that? Dandy, knock some sense into him," QT said with an annoyed look on his face. "I'll do more than that. I don't know what that alien told you, but he is full of lies. Underwear will always be better than vests!" Dandy argued. QT said before leaving the lounge, "That tears it! I'm out of here. You idiots have fun with your ridiculous argument."

The two ignored QT and bickered on. "As if! Underwear is good for nothing," Meow stated. "Yeah, and vests are SO much better," Dandy said sarcastically. "Not only can vests cover up those gross pecs of yours, but they can also make you look sexy," Meow pointed out. "Pecs aren't gross. If anything's gross, it's that crotch of yours. No decent person deserves to see your junk flopping around," Dandy argued. "Please. You're just jealous because I'm bigger than you," Meow said. "Bigger isn't always better. I bet that I can get more phone numbers than you," Dandy said. "Oh yeah. Well I bet that I can get more girlfriends than you," Meow said. "In that case, I bet that I get into more girls' pants than you," Dandy said. "I bet that I can have better sex than you," Meow said with a grin on his face. Dandy gasped. No one had ever dared him that he couldn't have better sex than them. It goes to show that Meow was tough competition. "Challenge accepted," Dandy said before sticking his hand out. However, Meow didn't shake his hand. "Do we have a deal or not?" Then, Meow said, "You see, there's one problem with that. There isn't a girl within a 50 light year radius." Dandy's hand fell when Meow mentioned that. Suddenly, he grabbed the Betelgeusian from behind. "What are you doing?!" Meow asked with a nervous tone in his voice. "Improvising," Dandy answered before taking him to his room.

Once they were in Dandy's room, Meow asked, "What do you mean by improvising?" However, instead of answering the feline's question, Dandy said, "Lay on the bed." Meow questioned the man, but he did as he was told. Then, it suddenly dawned onto the cat's mind that Dandy was using him as a girl. Before he could get off of the bed, Dandy tackled Meow. Within seconds, their lips met. Meow's eyes were wide with horror and surprise. Dandy kissing him was the last thing he was expecting.

Unfortunately, Dandy forgot that Meow loved fish. The taste of rotten fish was on Meow's tongue. As fast as he kissed Meow, Dandy's face turned green. The Betelgeusian saw this and grew an evil smile. He latched onto Dandy's back and started kissing him more passionately. The more passionate the kiss got, the sicker Dandy got. Dandy tried his hardest to get out of Meow's grasp. Sadly, this feline wasn't letting go anytime soon. Dandy could feel the vomit coming up his throat. Finally, he managed to set himself free. He ran to the nearest bathroom and threw up his breakfast.

After he finished throwing up, Dandy got out of the bathroom. However, Meow was waiting for him. "Do you give up?" Meow asked with the most evil grin to ever be made. "You son of a bitch. I am far from done," Dandy panted. Meow said, "Someone's a stubborn bastard."

They headed back to Dandy's room. "So what's next? Are you gonna suck my-" Meow said before turning around. In a matter of seconds, Dandy was already butt naked. Once again, Dandy tackled Meow to the bed. "What's with you and-" Meow didn't get a chance to finish as Dandy's already erect cock was shoved into his mouth. As if the kiss wasn't enough. The Betelgeusian thought whether Dandy was into men or not. "Damn. That mouth of yours feels better than it tastes," Dandy grunted as he stripped Meow of the only clothes he had on him. Meow wasn't sure on whether to take that comment as an insult or a compliment.

To be completely honest, sucking another dude's dick wasn't the most horrible feeling in the universe. Rather, it was the 20th best feeling Meow ever felt. While he was pleasuring Dandy, he could feel something messing with his lower regions. That something was the dude he was pleasing. Dandy stroked his fingers across Meow's crotch, waiting for his meaty treasure. Seconds later, something started to poke out. It was, in fact, Meow's you know what. Dandy put the Betelgeusian's penis in his mouth faster than you can say, "ELJ Stories needs to burn in Hell!" Who wrote that?! Editor, you're fired!

Anyways, Meow moaned as Dandy started licking on his dick like a lollipop. He took Dandy's penis out of his mouth and said, "I bet that I can make you cum faster." Dandy took Meow's penis out of his mouth and said, "Not while I'm still alive!" Then, the two imbeciles continued to suck on each other's dicks. Heads were bobbed, penises were licked, and moans could be heard 25 light years away.

A few minutes later, Meow felt a tingly sensation in his crotch. "Damn it! I can't cum now," he said to himself. "What's wrong, Meow? Can't take anymore pleasure?" Dandy asked. But instead of answering, Meow sucked Dandy's cock even harder. "I see how it's gonna be." Like Meow, Dandy started to take his blowjob to the next level. The battle for semen went on and on. That is, until Meow couldn't take anymore and came in Dandy's mouth. Dandy soon followed, but it was all over. "Damn it!" Meow screamed as he slammed his fist onto the bed. "Aw. You mad, bro?" Dandy asked in a mocking fashion. Meow gave Dandy a death glare. He might've been down, but he wasn't out. He grabbed Dandy, flipped him onto his stomach, and rammed his cock into Dandy's ass faster than a child molester.

Dandy didn't think that Meow would take it this far. He guessed that he had it coming. The man screamed in pain as his asshole was brutally violated. Nothing was meant to go up there. But here he was, getting pounded by a Betelgeusian of the same gender. "Who's better than undies?" Meow whispered into Dandy's ear. Dandy didn't even dare to respond to such an outrageous question. Thanks to that, he earned an ass spanking. "I asked you a question. Who's better than undies?" As much as he didn't want to admit it, Dandy didn't want another ass spanking. "Vests," Dandy mumbled. "I can't hear you," Meow said. "Vests," Dandy said a little louder. "Louder," Meow demanded. "Vests," Dandy yelled. "As loud as you freaking can!" Meow shouted. "Vests rule, and undies drool!" Dandy screamed. "I thought so!" Meow yelled as he came in Dandy's ass. The Betelgeusian collapsed on Dandy as they drifted off to Dreamland.

The next morning, the two woke up. They screamed as Dandy kicked Meow off of his bed. "What the fuck are you doing on my bed?!" Dandy yelled. "I have no idea!" Meow said while trying to collect his thoughts. "Do you expect me to believe that you sleepwalked and fell on my bed?" Dandy asked. "I don't think that- AAAAAHHHHH!" Meow screamed at the top of his lungs. "What is it?" Dandy asked. "WE HAD SEX!" Meow screamed. "WE HAD WHAT?!" Dandy shouted. "ME AND YOU DID IT LAST NIGHT!" Meow repeated. "WHY DID WE HAVE SEX?!" Dandy yelled. "What do you mean why?! It all started when you kissed me!" Meow pointed out. "But you brought up the idea of having sex!" Dandy stated. "I didn't think you would start making out with me!" Meow said. "We fucked up! AAAAAHHHHH!" Dandy and Meow screamed.

Later on that day, the crew went to BooBies to cheer themselves up. "Hi Dandy. How are you doing today?" Honey asked. "Fantastic," Dandy lied. "That's good to hear. I hope you and your boyfriend will be ready to order soon," Honey said as she left to help with another table. "Boyfriend?" Dandy asked himself. Meow gulped as he was looking through his cellphone. Several pictures of Dandy and Meow kissing appeared on the front page. People either called them Dandeow or Meandy. "This is bad," Meow said as he showed Dandy the pictures. If Dandy ever felt the need to die, now was the perfect time. "I'm ruined!" Dandy shouted as he slammed his head on the table. On the other side of the table, an evil smile could be seen on QT's face.

The End


End file.
